My new life through the struggles

So i sit here thinking about the fact that i have not posted in over a year, so much has happened in that time and i wouldnt change any of it for the world. First change the boys are older, Chase is in school now and is loving it, i was so worried about how he would react to the change but he did better than i thought. Daniel is big as well, he is just as smart as his brother and just as sweet. They are both a blessing in my life, even though at times they can be as destructive as a small tornado, but they are my little tornados. Another change, and probably the most important is the reconnection with an old love. He was a friend when i needed one the most, never asked for anything more. Our longtime friendship turned into love, one that was unconditional regardless of what baggage i had with me. One thing that made my heart completely his was seeing him with my kids, its irresistible when innocent children love someone so much, how can i not. Trevor took care of me when i had surgery, he was there when i woke up in the middle of the night in pain. Sleeping on a couch just to be there when i might need him, after that my heart was completely his. It is a scary, amazing and exhilarating feeling knowing that someone has your heart, knows all there is to know about you, has seen you at your worst, and still loves you unconditionally. I owe a great deal to his parents, for raising such a wonderful man, i lay awake sometimes and wonder how i got so lucky, but i am smart enough to not take it for granted, i am blessed and i know it.......

I thought my life had taken a turn for the worst, depression, loss, anger, pain, despair and desperation, i thought i would face it alone. God sent me someone i could lean on and now i get the honor of spending the rest of my life him. After facing all the curves and bumps in the road, my life has opened to so many possibilities. More children is a possibility now, and just the thought makes me so happy. Even though i have lost family that is no longer in my life, i have new friends and family that make my life a better place. I am looking forward to the journey ahead, I look forward to the bumps and curves cause i know that together we can handle whatever comes our way.

I am loving my new life, i am grateful for the struggles cause they made me stronger. I am looking forward to the new changes that are sure to come.

until my next post................ learn from your struggles, god will not give you anything you cannot handle.